"How do you do it?"

Holly
Oct 4, 2018
4 min read

Grief, it’s a funny thing, doing some things can help grieves relieve their daily pain, but those things can be torturous for others.

Keeping Remission Possible going is what keeps us going, keeps me going.

Between my mum and I we get asked a lotttttt, “How do you do it?”.

For us, it’s our support system. Knowing we are carrying on what Emily started, doing what Emily loved, doing her proud. That gets me up in the morning!! Spreading the word, talking about Emily is genuinely one of my favourite things, it makes me happy, every time my mum talks about Emily, tells her story, talks about the amazingness of my big sister, I learn something new about her.

If in some tiny way we can help someone else, get someone to give a £1, give blood, sign up to the stem cell register, then that means everything to my mum and I, and it would have meant everything to Emily.

We all do things to help us ‘cope’ in different ways. This is what we do. I totally get it’s not for everyone, sometimes it is unbelievably hard to get out of bed I the morning for myself let alone to plan and attend charity events and we think about giving up a hell of a lot, it’s not easy organising events, I’m in uni a 100 miles from home and my mum works like a million jobs including looking after three kids, but it’s what we enjoy and it’s the most heart warming and rewarding thing.

There’s a module on my degree ‘events planning’, people always say I should be doing it, or asking why I’m not doing events planning as a career but for me it’s a hobby, I don’t want it to become stressful and end up working with difficult people or on a project I don’t enjoy. For me planning charity events with my mum is a stress reliever (Mum will disagree completely). But planning, organising and watching something that you’ve put so much time and energy in to come to life, seeing your crazy ideas on paper take shape and seeing people appreciate and enjoy something you’ve created, for me there’s nothing better it is so personally rewarding, especially when it’s to do with Emily. This is our opportunity to keep her alive, say her name out loud, tell other people about her. No one wants to be in ‘the cancer club’ but if you are, which unfortunately so so many people are now, people rely on on the help we try to give so much, and we are trying to make the next person’s experience that little easier. It’s an honour to talk about Emily to a new audience however at the same time, it highlights that those who knew Emily and loved her, aren’t at these events, because maybe they’ve heard it all before, their lives have moved forward, where ours are stuck. I think throwing ourselves into organising charity events is a way to feel closer to Emily in some strange way. I know it’s what she loved and I know I’m doing what she would she want what to do herself if she was still here.

The feeling of getting to meet incredibly people, inspiring strangers and sharing stories about our Emily is such a healing thing, it’s what keeps us going. Seeing over 400 people come and support us at our legacy ball, over 120 ladies attend ladies lunches over three events in South Wales and the continuing support of some people we don’t even know take part in all our crazy ideas including our mystery missions is in some tiny way makes grieving a little easier.

One of the biggest highlights has to be collecting 3557 chocolate bars, from 4 friends, to deliver to mums in hospitals whether working, carrying for family members or ill themselves over mother’s day. Over 4 years, we have organised 3 afternoon teas, including a Roald Dahl themed one, 3 ladies lunches, a ball… (and another one less than 3 weeks), 2 santa runs, brought together over 100 inspiring people to run Cardiff Half marathon for Emily and various other events for various cancer charities.

Another huge highlight was of course filming a short documentary for the #makebloodcancervisible campaign. Please copy and paste the link to watch our video, talking about our amazing Emily.

https://inside-job-productions.wetransfer.com/downloads/852170c60c65ef2af5f512ef5601407920180912101113/2ac530

We have now been given such an incredible opportunity, we have pledged to raise 20,000 for Maggies, to fund the library at their newest centre in Cardiff. For those of you who know Emily, or have read my blog before, you’ll know Emily was our Matilda, a true book worm, therefore a library in her name seems a fitting tribute for Our Emy. If we ever decided to stop fundraising at least we would ahem something for her that will last forever.

In the final week of Emily’s life she dreamed of hosting a ball for cancer patients who missed their prom or sixth form ball because of cancer treatment. We take our inspiration from her. She didn’t let illness stop her, so we cant let grief stop us.

Here are just a few photos of my mum and I at some of the charity events we have organised and hosted over the past few years. xx